


If only this could last forever

by Lord_Overlord



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, So be warned, This is oh so fluffy, multi chaptered, probably the fluffier fluff to ever fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:27:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2591696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Overlord/pseuds/Lord_Overlord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through a series of bad ideas, Kaneki comes to the conclusion that maybe Tsukiyama deserves another chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~  
> This is my first fanfiction in the TG fandom and, of course, it's my favorite Shuuneki.  
> Written as a part of the Shuuneki Fluff 2k14 movement.  
> Terrifyingly fluffy. 
> 
> P.S: the characters may appear to be ooc because of all the fluff. Please excuse this in favor of enjoying Tsukiyama Nd Kaneki finally be happy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which it hits Tsukiyama

His broken arm healed slowly, but surely, cells repairing themselves, bones pulling back together. It was painful, but not as painful as getting it broken. Tsukiyama lied on the floor, blood sipping from his multiple wounds. And yet, despite the intense pain and burning brought by the healing, he was smiling.

"Très bien, Kaneki-kun... You improved well"- he choked out, finding it hard to talk because of his broken ribs.

The white haired boy didn't answer, just stared off into the distance waiting for his sparring partner to heal. This was how it always went. They would fight, Kaneki would all but kill Tsukiyama, and then they'd fight again once the latter healed, until Kaneki got tired and left Tsukiyama on the cold hard floor.

It was not pleasant, watching Kaneki turn and leave, saying nothing but a "Thank you for the fight" in a monotone voice. At first, it didn't bother Tsukiyama. Oh no, he was delighted to receive even the smallest act of appreciation. That told him he was on the right track to winning the boy's trust back. Every time they got close in a battle, when their faces were mere inches apart and Kaneki's scent filled up all Tsukiyama's senses, he went mad with desire. Even when he simply entered the boy's room, when they accidentally touched shoulders or when Kaneki's eyes lingered on him for a moment too long- he couldn't help but shudder. Which, in hindsight, was weird since the latter two points had nothing to do with Kaneki's scent or taste.

Tsukiyama slowly started to realize- something was very off with his "desires" and he didn't know what. Of course, maybe running after the boy and doing his every bidding like a loyal puppy, in hopes of cannibalizing him later, was something most people would consider being "off". But those people had no taste or any sense of beauty, and Tsukiyama never paid them any attention. Still, recently something appeared to be very off.

The moment he entered Kaneki's apartment one fateful evening, was the moment he knew what had changed. It was a very stormy day. He had no particular appreciation for storms, nor did he hate them. It was just weather and weather shouldn't be paid a lot of attention- except that particular storm got him worked up. He had the urge to visit his darling Kaneki. He would think of the reason on the way there, but for now Tsukiyama caught a taxi and said the address that was permanently imprinted in his brain.

Banjoi-san, or whatever his name was, was out that evening with the three weirdos that followed him everywhere. The Little Lady opened the door, happily welcoming him in. Out of all people surrounding Kaneki, she was the most tolerable and, unexpectedly for himself, Tsukiyama grew to like her quite a bit.

"Désolé, mademoiselle, but I did not bring you flowers today,"- he apologized, receiving a "Oh, don't worry, it's alright!" in return.

She told him that her Onii-chan was in his room, resting. Tsukiyama thanked her and proceeded to the room he grew so familiar with. It was weird, but here, in Kaneki's apartment, he felt more at home than anywhere else in the world. Suddenly, Tsukiyama realized that he still did not come up with a reason for his visit. This was bound to make things awkward as "I just wanted to see you" is not something he should be saying anytime soon...

Then, he noticed that Kaneki's door was slightly opened. Just a teeny bit, but this threw Tsukiyama off- Kaneki's door was never open. He couldn't miss the opportunity to peek inside. He wouldn't necessarily call that "spying", it was just out of interest what Kaneki has been doing when he was alone.

And there Tsukiyama saw him, standing near his window, looking outside. Calm and peaceful, he did not appear to be thinking about anything. One of the few moments when he wasn't in deep thought about one problem or another. His features got illuminated by lightning and Tsukiyama's heart hitched in his throat. Kaneki was so beautiful.

And his eyes... Such sadness and pain in his eyes, it looked as though he was about to cry. But Kaneki never cried. He had to stay strong for everyone else around him. He was such an idiot. Tsukiyama's chest felt tight, and he had to breath in heavily. Kaneki's scent once again filled his lungs. But for, the first time ever, Tsukiyama didn't go mad with desire and pleasure. All he wanted to do was to come up behind the boy, and hug him, inhaling his scent and never letting him go.

Instead, he turned around and left the apartment. He told the Little Lady that Kaneki seemed busy and that he didn't want to disturb him. But, the truth was, he had to run away because he realized. He realized that being near Kaneki was like being home, that Kaneki was and always has been the center of his world, that he would never, ever hurt him ever again.

Tsukiyama realized that he loved Kaneki Ken.

• • • • •

So there he lay, his arm finally healed, Kaneki towering above him.

"Ready to go again, Tsukiyama-san?"- he asked, same expressionless voice as ever.

Now, this voice hurt Tsukiyama. It hurt to know exactly how little he meant to Kaneki. But he was ready to be a punching bag if that meant being at least a little close to the boy, who drove him crazy.

Kaneki reached his hand out for Tsukiyama to grab- which was a bit unusual. As the One-eyed ghoul pulled his sparring partner up, Tsukiyama stumbled and ended up nose to nose with Kaneki. Feeling his heart accelerate and his cheeks heat up, he couldn't find the strength to step back. And Kaneki didn't step back either. They held each other's hands for a few moments longer and Tsukiyama, feeling bold, leaned down just a bit.

And then Kaneki snapped Tsukiyama's arm once again.

The Gourmet fell onto his knees, clutching his arm to his chest, clenching his teeth as to not let cries of pain escape his mouth.

"You got too close,"- Kaneki said, though this time Tsukiyama could swear he heard his voice brake at the end.

The boy walked away, leaving Tsukiyama on the cold, hard floor once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only the beginning, and I couldn't possibly write a TG fanfiction without at least a drop of angst. And c'mon, it's not even that bad compared to most Shuuneki fics so...


	2. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Tsukiyama is in pain but nothing really happens

He didn't know how much time passed. It could've been minutes, it could've been hours. For whatever reason, his arm didn't want to heal itself properly, and the bones kept regrowing in all the wrong angles. He had to brake his own arm for the second time now. Altogether, this made it the fourth time that his arm has gotten broken this evening.

Not to mention that his broken rib has punctured one of his lungs. Great.

"Calmato,"- Tsukiyama whispered to himself as he finally managed to pull himself up against a wall.

Everything hurt so bad, but watching Kaneki's back as he walked away, not turning around once, hurt the most. He really did hate Tsukiyama... And he couldn't blame him. Tsukiyama hated himself too, first for being impatient and destroying Kaneki's trust, and now for ever wanting to hurt the boy.

He was an idiot. A terrible idiot. And now Kaneki hated him.

He really didn't belong in that household, the one that was seeping with warmth and love. They were a family, and Tsukiyama was an imposter, an outsider that just happened to walk in and imagine himself a part of it.

Lying there, in the dark, all alone, Tsukiyama finally realized how truly lonely he was. He had nobody and was all his fault. He felt a single tear roll down his cheek and slammed his fist against a wall.

 _You're stronger than this, Shuu, get it together,_ \- he thought, getting up.

Tsukiyama walked over to the nearest phone booth- it appeared he had smashed his mobile once again in the course of the battle. Weakly, he dialed the number of his family manor, the house where he grew up and spent most of his childhood in. After a few rings, the butler finally picked up and Tsukiyama greeted him coldly.

"Ah, Shuu-sama, to what do we owe the pleasure of your call?"

"I will be... staying at the manor... for the next few days..."- Tsukiyama managed to choke out- speaking still hurt like hell.

"Is something wrong? Is your apartment infested?"

"No... Nothing like that... I have some... business.... back at the house"

"Excellent! We will prepare your bedroom, then"

"Graci... Oh and... please tell everyone I am giving them a paid leave for the next week... I will be arriving in an two hours... make sure everyone leaves till then"

"But... Shuu-sama-"

"This is an order"

"...Certainly, sir"

With this, Tsukiyama hung up. He really didn't want to see anyone right now. Definitely not the servants, who are payed to smile in his face and be nice- he knew everyone in that house secretly hated his guts.

He needed to calm down and get away. He couldn't do it in his own apartment- he knew Kaneki would never come visit him there, of course, but being two hours away from the city still made him feel more distant. The manor was his castle, a place where he could feel safe and secluded. Hopefully, the servants would tell nothing of this to his parents. He took such long breathers between sentences, the butler was bound to notice something was off. Then again, he could've thought it was simply trouble with the phone line. He was human, and humans weren't that bright after all.

Tsukiyama put on his coat, made his hair look a bit more presentable and went out to catch a taxi. Hopefully, by the time he got to the manor, he would be completely healed.


	3. Piano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Kaneki is an idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read while listening to   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOBQJJt6RKM  
> For best effect

A few days has passed since their last sparring session. Kaneki looked out the window of his room. It was a stormy night. There sure were a lot of storms the past month.

Kaneki sighed- he still felt bad for the way he randomly injured Tsukiyama. It was unnecessary. He was unnecessary rough with him recently. While they weren't interrogating any other ghouls in their search for Kanou, Tsukiyama was the person Kaneki took all his frustration on. And he knew that it wasn't fair, but he just couldn't help it.

In a way, Kaneki wanted Tsukiyama to know how badly he hurt him back then, how betrayed and scared he felt in that damn restaurant. So Kaneki resolved to physically and verbally abusing the Gourmet, always giving him the cold shoulder. This was hard for him as well, as every time he wanted Tsukiyama to stay for a while longer, he had to throw him out of the apartment. Every time he wanted to say how grateful he was for Tsukiyama's support, he had to tell him to shut up. Because he knew that under that false pretense, there was a monster just waiting for his chance to devour Kaneki.

But even so, Tsukiyama was loyal for the most of his act, especially in the last few weeks. He has been so caring, and so gentle, with Hinami as well. He was even decent with Banjou...

So the way Kaneki broke his arm right after it had just healed, and then left him lying on the floor was very unfair. It seemed to have hurt Tsukiyama bad, considering he hasn't showed up at his door yet, and his mobile has been turned off.

Stupid... Acting so childish over a mere injury...

No, it was Kaneki's fault. Tsukiyama had every right to be mad at him.

The clock just chided midnight when Kaneki decided on visiting Tsukiyama to apologize formally. Nobody was picking up the phone in his apartment, so Kaneki concluded Tsukiyama must have been in his family manor.

Thankfully, Tsukiyama gave away quite a bit of information when he thought no one was listening to his ramblings. But Kaneki always was listening for one reason or another, and now he knew the exact address of the manor.

The problem was, it was located outside the city.

 _Well, I have already made up my mind_ ,- Kaneki thought.

Hinami was already asleep. He concluded that there was no point in waking her up since he would be there and back again in no time. Grabbing his coat, Kaneki stepped out of the apartment into the stormy night.

• • • • •

An hour and a half later, Kaneki realized that this might not have been the best idea he had so far.

He payed for the taxi- quite a considerable amount as well- and stepped out of the car in front of a gigantic gate, behind which was an even larger manor. The wind was howling and the rain was pouring down hard. Kaneki was drenched in a instant.

The gate was open, so Kaneki did not hesitate to walk right in. He went up to the manor doors, and was surprised to find out they were unlocked as well. Tsukiyama was either a dumbass or really didn't care for his safety. Perhaps both.

The manor truly was enormous, inside and out. The walls were illuminated by the outside lights- otherwise the entire house was pitch dark. It was very quiet.That was weird. He thought houses like this were packed with servants and bright lights.

Kaneki didn't know where to start looking for Tsukiyama. Bedroom would be the best choice, considering it was now nearly two in the morning...

Oh.

Now that he thought about it, this was an absolutely terrible idea. There he was standing, at 2 AM on a very stormy night in the middle of a gigantic manor one and a half hours away from the city. Hell, Tsukiyama could be back in his apartment, just ignoring the phone. Or maybe out of the country. And even if he was here right now, he would most definitely be sleeping. As well as all the other servants. This explained the lack of light and noise as well.

Kaneki slapped himself on the forehead- he felt like such an idiot. Did he plan on waking Tsukiyama up, saying something along the lines of "Uhm, yeah, sorry I broke your arm, please don't stay mad at me" and then be on his way back to his own apartment?

"Idiot,"- Kaneki muttered to himself.

He stood there for a few moments, not really thinking about anything, accompanied by the sounds of rain and lightning and soft piano music.

"Wait, what?"- Kaneki asked out loud, snapping his head towards the source of music.

It seemed to have been coming from upstairs, and somewhere deep within the manor. Kaneki didn't even notice it at first, it was so faint. As he walked up the stairs, he recognized the melody as being one of Mozart's sonatas. He couldn't tell which one, but it was definitely pleasant and played masterfully.

He opened one of the doors on top of the stairs, which lead to a long corridor. The music seemed to have been coming from the arc at the very end. Kaneki slowly and softly proceeded to move towards it, until he finally saw Tsukiyama with his back turned to the entrance.

It appeared as if Tsukiyama halted for a moment the second Kaneki stepped into the room, but he continued playing nevertheless. Kaneki didn't dare speak, so as not to ruin the perfect harmony that seemed to surround the man before him. Tsukiyama looked very peaceful, illuminated by the streetlights. Kaneki could only see his back, but he was somehow certain that he was smiling.

He watched as Tsukiyama's back fell down and then rose back up with every note he played calmly swinging back and forth. He appeared to be very emerged in his performance, and every time Kaneki ,a aged to catch a glimpse of the side of his face, his heart stopped beating. Tsukiyama was most definitely smiling, and it was the most beautiful thing Kaneki has ever seen.

A minute has passed, and Kaneki realized he was staring, his mouth slightly agape. He flushed, embarrassed at his own dumb actions. Coughing a few times to finally announce his presence, he shifted from one foot to the other.

"Th-that's Mozart, right?"- he sheepishly asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Tsukiyama stopped playing for a second, and then, without turning around, resumed with twice the force.

"Ah, Kaneki-kun... You really are here. I thought I was hallucinating,"- he said, his voice calm and mellow.

"Huh?"

"Your scent. It filled the room just as you entered. I thought I went completely crazy for you."

He added something sounding like "and maybe I already did", but it was masked from Kaneki's ears by the sounds of the piano.

"Uhm... Tsukiyama-san-"

"Come, Kaneki-kun"- he patted on the stool and shifted a bit, making room for Kaneki.

Despite better judgement, the boy went ahead and joined the older man at the grand piano.

He watched as Tsukiyama's fingers moved swiftly over the black and white keys, felt the heat radiating from him, his scent feeling up Kaneki's lungs, making his head spin. They stayed silent for a bit, listening to the flowing melody. Kaneki's eyes shifted to Tsukiyama's face, and he knew he couldn't resist it any longer. Tsukiyama was gorgeous and Kaneki wanted nothing more but to trust him completely.

"I'm sorry,"- Kaneki whispered.

Tsukiyama's smile grew wider.

"I forgive you,"- he whispered back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting three chapters at once to get you going:3  
> More updates as they come  
> P.S: yeah, I know the sonata is for two pianos, but I really like it and it suits the mood so shhh


	4. Breakfast. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Kaneki makes some more bad decisions

"Kaneki-kun, it's very late,"- Tsukiyama said, -"And it's raining terribly hard outside."

Both were quite true. It was three in the morning by the time the two of them got up from the piano.

It was hard to imagine that they sat there for an hour, Tsukiyama playing and Kaneki listening. Neither said a single word up until Kaneki remembered himself and told Tsukiyama he had to head back home.

"I have a lot of room here, as you can probably tell. Why don't you spend the night?"

This was another terrible idea. Kaneki would be so vulnerable here, in a mansion that he didn't know, with a man who wanted to devour him... So why was he now following Tsukiyama into a guest room? God, he had a lot of bad ideas lately.

"You know, Kaneki-kun... Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined you coming all the way here just to apologize to me,"- Tsukiyama said, leading Kaneki through a dark hallway.

"I would never have imagined I'd be willing to do so"- Kaneki replied quietly.

"Really, and this late at night. And during a storm-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Not the brightest idea"

"Non, non! Quite the contrary, I'm flattered"

"Don't get full of yourself. I know I was too rough on you, and I had to say sorry, that's all"

Tsukiyama didn't reply. They just walked on in silence, through a hallway that didn't seem to end.

"Kaneki-kun, you are safe here. I promise,"- Tsukiyama said, as he opened a door into the guest room.

Kaneki wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that so badly- but he knew he couldn't.

"Ah, I better get you something to wear. Something less... wet,"- with this, the Gourmet stepped out of the room.

Kaneki sat on the bed and weighed his chances of surviving the night. He didn't tell anyone where he went, so should Tsukiyama eat him, there would be no one to know. Then again, Tsukiyama didn't know that fact- he should probably warn him.

"Here, mon cher,"- Tsukiyama said, handing him a sweater and a pair of pants, -"They might be a bit too large for you, but still better than staying wet, si?"

"Thank you, Tsukiyama-san" "You must be very tired. Good night, mon ami! I will prepare us breakfast in the morning, so sleep soundly"

"Thanks,"- Tsukiyama was about to leave when Kaneki added, - "Oh and Tsukiyama-san? Don't you dare try anything- Hinami and Banjou know where I am, so if I don't show up tomorrow morning, you'll be found very soon"

That threat sounded terribly weak. Hinami was just 14 and Banjou definitely was no match for Tsukiyama combat-wise. Kaneki thought that the Gourmet would laugh. Would dismiss it with a wave, saying something in French, and leave.

"I would never harm you ever again, Kaneki-kun,"- Tsukiyama said with a grave expression instead, -"This, I guarantee you."

Then, he closed the door and went away.

This left Kaneki baffled- the certainty in his voice, the lack of flamboyant gestures. And the way he looked...

Kaneki changed his clothes. The sweater was gigantic on him and the pants were at least two sizes larger, so he didn't even bother putting them on. The sweater barely covered his boxers, but that had to do for the night. He would change in the morning.

He laid down on the big bed and pulled up the covers- Tsukiyama was right, he was dead tired. Despite the unfamiliar location, and less than safe situation, Kaneki fell asleep rather quickly.

His last thoughts have been of Tsukiyama's gentle expression as he played the piano.

• • • • •

A strong, sweet smell filled the room, going up Kaneki's nostrils, waking him up from his slumber. Blinking a few times, he sat up, wiping the drool from his mouth.

The smell was so amazing, he couldn't help but salivate- it was so warm and tender, so familiar yet unique. Kaneki got up and walked towards the source, too preoccupied with not letting his saliva hit the floor to notice anything else. He had to walk down a flight of stairs in order to reach the kitchen, and in the way, he opened more than one door that lead either to a bathroom or another bedroom.

A single thought of "why are there so many doors here" went through his mind, but he quickly brushed it away. Hunger was his main issue, and that smell was the solution.

In the kitchen, Tsukiyama merely hummed a tune of some sorts. He wore a pink apron and was adding something to the pan he held over the fire, just as Kaneki walked in.

"Bonjour, Kaneki-kun!"- the man chided upon noticing the boy.

He didn't even have to look his direction to know Kaneki was there- Kaneki's smell gave him away instantly.

"Did you have a good night's sleep?"- Tsukiyama asked, turning away to cut some meat, and only then Kaneki snapped out of his hunger-induced stupor.

What was Tsukiyama doing in his kitchen? And wait, this wasn't his kitchen. It wasn't even his apartment.The events of the day, or rather, the night rushed back and Kaneki was paralyzed with the realization of how utterly stupid was everything that he did.

_How am I even still alive_ ,- Kaneki thought, rubbing at his tired eyes.

The image of Tsukiyama's expression before he left for the night crossed his mind. This whole thing was so weird, but he was too sleepy and hungry to care.

"Kaneki-kun? Ça va?"- Tsukiyama asked, turning to look at Kaneki for the first time that morning.

And then suddenly, he dropped the pan he was holding and stepped back, his face turning a crimson red.

"K-K-K-Kaneki-"- Tsukiyama stuttered so hard, he couldn't even add the suffix.

"Ah, good morning, Tsukiyama-san. What is it?"- Kaneki cocked his head to the side, still rubbing at his eye.

He tried to follow Tsukiyama's gaze- and then he got it.

He wasn't wearing any pants. Just Tsukiyama's oversized sweater. A sweater, which, thankfully, covered his boxers. But not-so-thankfully made it look like he wasn't wearing any underwear at all.

And damn, now he was embarrassed.

"Stop blushing, you pervert,"- Kaneki retorted weakly, feeling his own cheeks go up in flames, -"I'm gonna go change."

Now that he thought about, "stop staring" would've been a better thing to say, considering that was exactly what Tsukiyama was doing right now. And very shamelessly as well. Kaneki stood on the place a second longer than necessary, before turning around and leaving.

_Good fucking morning, indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating this early because I'm sitting in a hospital and have nothing better to do.  
> Thanks for all the support, guys, it means so much to me!


	5. Breakfast. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Kaneki is dolce and Tsukiyama is a pleasant host

Tsukiyama's heart finally started beating again and he let out a breath that seemed to have been caught up in his lungs. That moment lasted forever, yet seemed to have past so quickly.

His darling Kaneki, cheeks flushed red, bed hair and all, rubbing at his eye while standing in Tsukiyama's kitchen, wearing Tsukiyama's sweater and nothing but the sweater- definitely wasn't the sight Tsukiyama expected to see this early in the morning. Or any time, ever, as a matter of fact. It was just so-

"Dolce!"- he couldn't help but exclaim.

He felt a stirring in his pants and tried to calm down.

 _Come on, it takes more than this to get you hard, Shuu,_ \- he told himself.

Tsukiyama had to concentrate extra hard on cooking if he didn't want any more awkwardness to arise between them. Because if he kept thinking like that... Awkwardness definitely wouldn't be the only thing rising.

• • • • •

Kaneki walked back into the kitchen 10 minutes later. Wearing his own clothes, Tsukiyama noted sadly. The breakfast was prepared and served with a cup of coffee at the side.

"I apologize for my... overreaction, Kaneki-kun,"- Tsukiyama said, placing the knives and forks on the table.

"It's okay... I could've tried dressing up more decently myself,"- Kaneki answered sitting down, -"What is this?"

"Why, our breakfast, bien sur"

"Huh. Can't remember the last time I used a fork."

Kaneki picked it up, slowly rotating the object as if seeing it for the first time. Tsukiyama looked at him sadly- he couldn't even begin to imagine the transition Kaneki had to go through. His entire world got flipped upside down and he had no control over his fate whatsoever... And then Tsukiyama went and betrayed him, just like that. He suddenly felt so terribly guilty.

"Uhm, do you like my cooking, Kaneki-kun? I tried especially hard for you"- he asked to somehow shake off the unpleasant feeling in his gut.

Kaneki looked down on his plate. He cut off a small piece and tasted it, his expression unreadable. After a minute of silence, Tsukiyama began to worry and was about to apologize for the horrible meal- he must have burned it when he dropped the pan- but he was interrupted.

"It's fantastic, Tsukiyama-san. I've never tasted anything like it,"- Kaneki said, smiling gently.

A rock lifted off of Tsukiyama's shoulders. He liked it.

"Ah, but of course. Only the best for you, mon cher"

They proceeded eating their breakfast in silence, but then Tsukiyama wondered. Never tasted anything like it, huh...

"What have you tasted, Kaneki-kun?"

"Hm?"- Kaneki asked from behind his cup of coffee.

"You must have tasted so many different things. You know, before..."- Tsukiyama once again felt a sting of guilt as Kaneki placed his cup back on the table and looked to the side, -"Um... What does cake taste like?"

"...I guess it's sweet?"

"Oh, come on, ma belle, you can do better than this. I've always wondered what cake tastes like. It looks so beautiful in the windows of shops, but tastes like garbage"

"Well... Hmm... How do I describe it? I guess cheesecake was my favorite cake... And well, it has a creamy texture. It is very sweet. Melts on your tongue, y'know?"

Tsukiyama proceeded to nod enthusiastically, trying really hard to imagine what a cheesecake might taste like. He saw that Kaneki was trying his best to remember as well as explain it thoroughly. After a few moments of Kaneki's "you knows" and "kind of like", Tsukiyama decide that he could picture the taste well enough.

"I think I would've really liked cheesecake if I was human,"- he interrupted Kaneki's explanations, as the boy once again went silent trying to find words to describe taste.

"Ah? Oh, well, then maybe we could've went to eat it together at a cafe or something,"- Kaneki said and immediately turned to the side after, blushing slightly.

This sweet, human side of Kaneki was the side Tsukiyama loved the most. Although, the cold, ruthless killer in him was very appealing, this gentleness was what made Kaneki so special. In all honesty, Tsukiyama just loved him whole.

"There is no reason why we can't go to a cafe to drink coffee,"- Tsukiyama decided to try his luck, considering things were going so well.

"Don't push it,"- Kaneki retorted immediately, but after a few seconds of silence added, -"Maybe sometime with Hinami."

Tsukiyama felt happy. Kaneki made him ridiculously happy. And he has been so sweet ever since coming to the manor. Tsukiyama was going to treasure each and every moment of it.

"Mm, and what do those burgers taste like?"

"Heh, not like anything that would live up to your exquisite standards"

"Oh? Pray do tell, Kaneki-kun"

• • • • •

"Tsukiyama-san,"- Kaneki said, -"Before I go on describing what ketchup taste like, may I just ask you something?"

They had already finished their breakfast and moved into the main living room. Tsukiyama called up a taxi, which would arrive in two hours or so, and Kaneki called up Hinami to tell her that he would be home soon. Tsukiyama continued to ask Kaneki what different foods taste like. So far, he had the descriptions of cheesecake, burgers, fries, sushi, chocolate and pizza. Cheese seemed especially intriguing to him. Now, he couldn't wait to know what ketchup tasted like, but it seemed that Kaneki wanted to ask him something.

"Oui, of course. What is it?"

"Why did you come here? I mean to the manor, and not your apartment?"

"Ah... You see, mon cher, I have to check up on the manor from time to time. See if everything is running smoothly, since my parents are almost always abroad,"- Tsukiyama thought that saying "I thought you hated me so I ran away" would be a bit less appropriate, so he resorted to lying instead.

"I see..."- Kaneki shifted a bit on the couch, moving closer to Tsukiyama.

Whether intentional or not, it made Tsukiyama a bit nervous. Kaneki was already sitting much closer to him than necessary, as the couch was pretty roomy, but now they were practically touching.

"And where are all your servants? I thought they were asleep but no one's around... You must have a lot, right?"

"Oh, they're all on vacation. Part of the reason why I came here. Who knows what can happen to an empty manor this size, si?"

"Hmm... You should take better care of locking up the gate and the main door then. They were open when I came here."

Oh, right. As soon as Tsukiyama arrived he went straight to sleep. And then varied between his bedroom and the piano, not once going downstairs. He completely forgot about locking up.

"Tell me, Kaneki-kun, why are _you_ here?"- he asked instead of trying to explain himself.

"I already told you, I needed to apologize."

"So you came to my parents' house, nearly two hours away from the city, in the middle of the night during a storm, in hopes of finding me and saying sorry?"

Kaneki turned to the side, cheeks glowing a bright pink. Tsukiyama realized that Kaneki knew how stupid that trip was. Yet there he sat, next to Tsukiyama and- wait, did he just move closer?

"I know it was very, very dumb. But you didn't come to the apartment, and your apartment phone wasn't answering, and your mobile was off-"

"Oh, that got broken during our fight."

"Still. You were nowhere to be seen and who knows what could've happened to you."

"But how did you even find the manor? I don't recall ever telling you the address..."

"You have. The last time we went clothes shopping with Hinami"

Tsukiyama remembered that day. Kaneki has been so reluctant to let him come. Tsukiyama had to promise Hinami to buy anything she wanted to be able to finally convince Kaneki.

He remembered that Kaneki had been in an especially bad mood then, the complete opposite of the flushed boy that sat a mere inch away from him. Tsukiyama resolved to blabbing on about one thing or another to lift Kaneki's mood, or at least to dispel the rising tension between them. He must told him the address then.

Tsukiyama was surprised, as he was a 100% sure Kaneki was not listening to a word he was saying. But it appeared he was.

"Ah. Is that right... You actually listen to me, Kaneki-kun..."- he said with a gentle smile.

"How can I not? You give away so much info when you blabber."

He definitely needed to be more careful with what he said she he thought no one listened.

Kaneki's knee brushed against his own, and for the millionth time he felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He was so weak when it came to Kaneki. And now, he was very happy to know that Kaneki really did care about him.

"So... What does ketchup taste like?"- Tsukiyama asked, boldly shifting towards Kaneki- now they were completely touching.

"Oh, where do I even begin..."- Kaneki wondered, lost deep in thought.

And he didn't move away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mm, Kaneki really is dolce here, huh?   
> He should treat Tsukiyama like that more often.


	6. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which they're close and he says sorry

Kaneki knew it was a bad idea. He felt it deep down in his chest, it was nagging at him from the back of his brain. _It is a bad idea_ \- his instincts all but shouted at him. Yet there he stood, a couple of inches away from the man who tried not to only kill, but eat him as well. Multiple times.

 _Well, isn't this just fantastic_ \- Kaneki thought, as the music began playing once again.

• • • • •

Hinami tugged at the sleeve of his sweater, giving him _the look_. The exact same look that Kaneki just couldn't say no to.

"Onii-chan, please!"- she begged for the millionth time, -"All the other girls are doing it!"

"Hinami-chan, this isn't really necessary, is it? It's not like it's a vital skill,"- Kaneki answered, weakly trying to free his sleeve.

In all honesty, he felt himself giving up pretty quickly. He just couldn't say no to the girl.

"But Onii-chan! What if I ever went to a ball? It would be so embarrassing!"

"They don't throw balls anymore, Hinami-chan"

"But-"

"Alright, alright! I will teach you how to dance,"- Kaneki threw his hands up in defeat.

No point in arguing if he's just going to do it anyway. The problem now was, how is he going to teach Hinami how to dance if he himself could barely remember the steps? It has been so long since he last danced with anyone. Had he actually ever done it?

Well, it didn't matter now, since it looked like he would be needing some extra help. He could ask Banjou, but the man did not seem to be... very smooth. In anything. Kaneki really doubted that he could help out. Then there were Banjou's friends, but Hinami wasn't particularly close to them, so she would be quite reluctant to dance with them.

That left only one option- an option Kaneki did not want to consider.

"Hinami-chan, are you completely sure you really want this?"- Kaneki asked, getting really tired at this point.

"Yes! Hinami is sure!"- the girl answered cheerfully and the One-eyed ghoul sighed.

He walked over to the phone and lingered for a few seconds, before turning around and walking over to the radio instead.

 _No, not yet-_ he thought, while switching to the classical music channel.

This would be his last resort. For now, he would try to pull it off himself.

"Alright, come here, Hinami-chan,"- Kaneki said, taking hold of the girl's hands- "Let's start with the waltz."

• • • • •

Three failed attempts to waltz later, Hinami realized something was off.

"Onii-chan, do you really know how to dance?"- she asked, squinting her eyes in suspicion.

"I-I, w-well, yeah,"- Kaneki replied weakly, scratching his chin. "Onii-chan..."- Hinami sighed, helplessly slumping onto the couch. Kaneki sighed as well.

Now he had no choice- after disappointing Hinami he had to make it up to her. He walked over to the phone and dialed the number.

• • • • •

Tsukiyama was there within what seemed like seconds. Hinami happily greeted him with a "Flower Man!" as he handed her a rose, saying something in Italian or French. Kaneki couldn't tell the difference and he really didn't care as long as this whole ordeal is done and over with as soon as possible.

"And how are you doing, Kaneki-kun?"- the Gourmet all but sang with a big smile plastered all over his face.

They have been getting along lately. After the two of them returned from the manor, Tsukiyama visited Kaneki's apartment twice as frequently as before, and seemed to call at least five times a day. Maybe after what had happened, he thought that they were now close. And it annoyed Kaneki quite a bit.

"Please just teach Hinami how to waltz"- the young man answered in a blank voice.

He still had to be cautious and stoic around Tsukiyama. One survived night and a tolerable- _okay, maybe been even pleasant_ breakfast meant nothing.

"Tsk, tsk, you wound me, mon cher,"- Tsukiyama said, not sounding hurt at all, -"Now, mademoiselle, if you would please give me your hands."

Kaneki watched as Tsukiyama and Hinami swirled around the living room, Hinami's feet barely touching the ground at all. He sat on the couch, deciding that he deserved to relax, at least a little.

It was strange how the site of Tsukiyama dancing with Hinami like that warmed his heart. It was almost familial.

He knew that he would never be over Tsikiyama, the same way he was really never over Rize. The two people he trusted and the ones who betrayed him so heartlessly. It was nice to imagine that the dark, true side of Tsukiyama didn't exist, and that the smile he wore on his face when he danced with Hinami, when he greeted Kaneki, when he stood by his side and swore to always serve him - was real. He was sick of betrayal, but he was even more sick of being so attached to people.

For what seemed like the thousandth time, he remembered the night he spent in the manor and sighed. After everything Tsukiyama's ever done, Kaneki still felt... warm towards him. And that night- and all other little moments spent with the Gourmet- certainly did not help cool down that warmth.

"Gah!"- Kaneki's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Tsukiyama holding his ankle in pain, while muttering something in another language. It sounded German.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"- Hinami frantically apologized while bowing down.

It appeared that she had kicked Tsukiyama while trying to keep up with him. Kaneki snorted in amusement.

"Non, non! It's perfectly alright, Little Lady. You are just learning after all."

"Oh, but I'm so bad. You dance so fast, Flower Man, I can't keep up."

"Désole, mademoiselle, would you like me to go slower?"

"Um... To be honest I don't think that's the only problem. I can't seem to memorize the steps... If only I could see it from the side, it wouldn't be as confusing."

And suddenly, Hinami was tugging Kaneki by the sleeve again, shoving him towards Tsukiyama.

"Onii-chan, dance with Flower Man!"

"Wh-what? Why me?"- Kaneki barely managed to stutter, still dazed by the sudden change in situation.

"So I can watch from the side, obviously! This was I'll remember the steps better!"- Hinami chided, plopping down on the couch.

"Now, now, Hinami-chan-"

"What a très bien idea! You, mademoiselle, are a genius!"- Tsukiyama exclaimed, interrupting Kaneki's protests. "

Uh, Tsukiyama-san, I really don't think-"

"Nonsense, Kaneki-kun. Would you not like our Little Lady to learn the art of waltz?"

"O-our-?"

"Onii-chan, please!"- Hinami joined in.

"Please, Kaneki-kun!"

"Onii-chan-"

"Alright, alright! I'll do it!"

• • • • •

Kaneki knew it was a bad idea. He felt it deep down in his chest, it was nagging at him from the back of his brain. _It is a bad idea_ \- his instincts all but shouted at him.

Yet there he stood, a couple of inches away from the man who tried not to only kill, but eat him as well. Multiple times.

 _Well, isn't this just fantastic-_ Kaneki thought, as the music began playing once again and the two of them swirled into dance.

Kaneki tried concentrating on remembering the steps, but their pace really was fast. Kaneki made a few wrong ones, and Tsukiyama picked up on that quickly. He slowed down and dancing became much easier. After a minute or so, Kaneki didn't have to try as hard to follow Tsukiyama.

But that just arose other problems- for example, Kaneki became very aware of the scent of the other man.

It was no secret that Kaneki's scent drew Tsukiyama insane, but the fact that the reverse was also true is something Kaneki would prefer not to announce. Now that Tsukiyama was sweaty from dancing and very, very close, that scent filled up his nostrils and went straight to his brain, his heart, and other, less decent areas. He had to swallow hard to keep his eye from turning- it was a shame he didn't wear his eyepatch indoors.

Tsukiyama kept smiling at Kaneki. It was almost gentle. Kaneki was surprised how the Gourmet could keep his cool while they were so close.

And they were oh so very close- nearly pressed up against each other. Was keeping this close really necessary? Kaneki looked up at Tsukiyama, and met his deep, dark blue, almost purple eyes. They were as gentle as his smile...

It was heartwarming, but also very unnerving. When did Tsukiyama start looking at Kaneki like that? And... Was that a blush on his face? And Tsukiyama's heart was beating so loud and so fast... Surely it must be from all this dancing.

But then Tsukiyama's smile grew wider, fonder, dancing became slower, and Kaneki felt himself grow very, very red.

He looked down again, pretending to be concentrating on their feet, while in reality his heart was pounding.

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

The other man should not make him this flustered or nervous, he shouldn't make his hands shake and sweat and his hair stand on the end. He shouldn't, he just shouldn't-

Kaneki's thoughts halted when he realized that he was falling. Evidently, he did something very, _very_ wrong as he was now laying on top of the other man, his heart standing still.Slowly, he raised up on his arms, as Tsukiyama sat up.

Their eyes met once again.

Both of them were flushed red and panting like crazy, and Kaneki wasn't sure how much of it was dancing and how much were... other things.

The moment seemed to last forever. Just the two of them, staring into each other's eyes and breathing heavily.

"Kaneki-kun... I am so sorry,"- the man underneath him whispered.

The smile Tsukiyama wore was gone, replaced by _that_ grave expression.

Kaneki didn't know what Tsukiyama was sorry for- the attempts to eat him, the lies, the pain or the betrayal... He guessed it was everything at once.

And Kaneki knew that this was a bad idea- but nevertheless he leaned down and gently touched Tsukiyama's cheek.

"K-Kaneki-kun?"- Tsukiyama whispered in surprise.

Kaneki didn't know what he was doing either, but he didn't care at the moment. The situation felt terribly familiar.

"I forgive you,"- Kaneki replied, knowing that he meant it.

And Tsukiyama, after a few seconds of processing what Kaneki just said, had smiled, squinting his eyes, letting out a little laugh.

And it was so genuine, Kaneki couldn't help but smile himself.

Kaneki stood up and pulled Tsukiyama with him, placing his hands one on the shoulder and one in the hand of the other Tsukiyama in turn placed his own hand on the other's waist and pulled them closer together.

Their bodies were up one against the other as they slowly swayed to the gentle melody coming from the radio. Come to think of it, it was the exact same one- the one Tsukiyama played back in the manor.

Kaneki closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of the man before him. This was insane. Completely and utterly insane. But he really did not care right now.

The pair continued dancing silently, as Hinami sweetly dreamed of royal balls and waltzes, having fallen asleep on the couch a long time ago. Kaneki sighed.

_Maybe all those ideas weren't that bad after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, this was the very first chapter I wrote. This was going to be a one shot. 
> 
> Things got out of hand ._.


	7. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which everyone blushes (no, srsly, so much embarrassment)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my favorite chapter so far, despite it being a pretty much overused prompt. Oh well.

Tsukiyama paid for the taxi and got out, followed by Kaneki and Hinami. He still felt high after yesterday's events.

He and Kaneki danced, and it was so beautiful. Tsukiyama wanted to cry because Kaneki forgave him and they were nearly hugging and the moment was just so perfect.

But then, Hinami woke up asking Kaneki why was he hugging the Flower Man and Kaneki, terribly flustered, pushed Tsukiyama away saying that they were trying to teach her how to dance. Hinami retorted that their dancing was so boring, she fell asleep and that they were both terrible teachers. Tsukiyama just laughed and promised to make it up to her in the form of buying her all the clothes she wanted- which she happily agreed to.

It was up to Kaneki to choose when they would go out shopping. He could've chosen any day- literally any, a week away, a month or a year. But he chose tomorrow.

That is to say, today, as the three of them were now entering Hinami's favorite shopping center. It was not the first time they all we t shopping together. But it was the first time Tsukiyama felt so incredibly happy.

As did Hinami, since she got to choose any dress she wished regardless of the price. And the girl loved dressing up quite expensively. Of course, Tsukiyama didn't care, but it made Kaneki very uncomfortable. The Gourmet found it very sweet.

"Hinami-chan, please at least glance at the price before taking something,"- Kaneki pleaded as she snatched another dress to try on.

"Nonsense, Kaneki-kun, the Little Lady can buy the entire shop if she so wishes."

Hinami only giggled and ran off into the dressing room. Kaneki sighed.

"You spoil her too much,"- he said shaking his head

"Ma belle, I think she deserves being spoiled. After having both her parents so horribly murdered... She has no one left to spoil her."

This made Kaneki's eyes go wide with realization.

"Oh... Maybe you're right,"- he said quietly, looking to the side.

Tsukiyama couldn't let anyone be sad. No, especially not today- not when everything was going so perfectly.

"Come to think about it, I know another darling that deserves to be spoiled,"- he said, pulling a shirt from the hanger.

"D-darling?"- Kaneki stuttered as Tsukiyama practically shoved the shirt into his hands, -"Wait, you want me to try on stuff?"

"Oui, why not? Oh, this would suit you très bien!"

"Tsukiyama-san, I really can't accept all this,"- Kaneki ran after Tsukiyama, accurately placing all the clothes he picked back on their places.

Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, staring off at another piece of clothing. Tsukiyama followed his gaze, only to find out that he has been looking at a sweater.

And not just any sweater- it has been the exact same pattern as the one Tsukiyama gave him that night in the manor. The one that he looked oh so _dolce_ in. Only Tsukiyama's has been red with purple- this one was blue and green.

Kaneki, once realizing that Tsukiyama knew what he was looking at, became very red. And the Gourmet knew he couldn't possibly miss this chance- it was fate.

"Uhm- I just-"

"I am buying you that sweater, Kaneki-kun."

"N-No! I mean, I can't accept it Tsukiyama-san."

"Non, on the contrary, you must accept, mon petit! It is my present and I will be terribly offended if you do not."

Kaneki seemed to give in on that. Offending someone would be the last thing he wanted to do. He took the sweater Tsukiyama handed him and disappeared into the changing room.

At the exact same moment, Hinami ran out, showing off a red and white lace dress.

"You look vraie mignonne, ma chérie!"- Tsukiyama exclaimed when she twirled for him.

"Tsukiyama-san, you know nobody can understand you when you speak like that, right?"

"I simply said you look really cute, my darling."

That made Hinami blush. It seemed that today Tsukiyams held amazing powers of making everyone around him flustered- he really liked that.

Kaneki came out of his dressing room, wearing the sweater that seemed to be at least a size too large. It didn't fit him as great as Tsukiyama's, but he still looked very appealing nevertheless.

"Tsukiyama-san, I think it's way too big for me. And they don't have any other sizes. In fact, this is the last one." 

"Non! You look vraie mignon, just as our Little Lady over here."

Hinami giggled at this, knowing the meaning of Tsukiyama's words. Kaneki gave her a look before sighing and retreating back into the dressing room.

"Flower Man... You really like Onii-chan, don't you?"- the girl asked, smiling at him.

"Oui- I mean, yes, of course, ma chérie. I really, _really_ like your Onii-chan."

"Well... I'm going to tell you a secret... I think Onii-chan really, _really_ likes you as well."

Tsukiyama stared at her in shock. His cheeks started growing much redder than they should have.

_What? How? He does? He-he does?_

"He do-"- just then, Kaneki came out of the dressing room again, sweater hanging on his arm.

"Tsukiyama-san, considering the price of this, I simply cannot-"

But Tsukiyama would have none of it. Still terribly flustered, he snatched the sweater from Kaneki's hands, and stormed off to the register without a single word, followed by Hinami carrying a like of dresses. It appeared that not only was he making everyone else around him blush- it was now affecting himself.

Kaneki was left standing in the middle of the aisle, wondering what this was all about.

• • • • •

Tsukiyama sat across from Kaneki, the younger man wistfully staring out the window.

The two of them were terribly tired, but Hinami insisted on visiting at least a couple more shops. So, after arguing for a bit, Kaneki resolved that he and Tsukiyama relaxed at the nearby coffee shop, while Hinami finished up on her shopping.

The Gourmet gave her his wallet- despite all Kaneki's protests- and bought himself and the white haired boy coffee using his credit card.

"You didn't back down on your promise, Kaneki-kun. I'm glad,"- he said, sipping the dark liquid from his cup.

"Huh? Oh, you mean when I said we'd go drinking coffee with Hinami?"- Kaneki hadn't looked away from the window, watching people pass to and fro, -"Except she isn't here now... You shouldn't be paying for us like that, Tsukiyama-san"

"But, Kaneki-kun, you know I insist. It is a pleasure."

Kaneki lied back in his chair, extending his legs. They were now brushing against Tsukiyama's, but he didn't bother pulling them back up.

"This reminds me of that time you visited me at college..."- the boy said- it appeared like he has been reminiscing about his past.

"Yes, I remember that day as well. You were drinking coffee and reading Takatsuki, oui?"

"Aha... And then the next time we went to a coffee shop... That was our first date, right?"

Tsukiyama's heart seemed to have stopped beating completely. Did Kaneki just say " _date"_? And so nonchalantly as well.

He put down his cup of coffee with a little too much force. Kaneki also seemed to have just now noticed his slip up, and became very red, frantically waving his hands around.

"Or, er, you know, if you can consider that a date, since we never agreed it to be one, right? I just always thought it was one- or, um, not always, always is a bit too strong of a word to use-"

Tsukiyama put his hand on top of Kaneki's and he immediately stopped fidgeting. Instead, he swallowed heavily and became even redder- if that was possible. All that blood rushing to their faces like that- they're bound to have headaches.

"To be honest, ma belle, I also always thought it to be a date,"- Tsukiyama said in a much calmer than he actually felt, -"We can also consider today to be a date, if you so wish."

"A-ah... Right. Um, well, sure. I mean, I guess, I-I don't know,"- this Kaneki was so like his human self, Tsukiyama had to fondly smile at him, -"Haha, it's like we're a family, yeah? You, me, Hinami, out on a family stroll, haha."

Tsukiyama knew that Kaneki just tried to ease the awkward tension between them, but he was making things so much more worse.

Tsukiyama being a part of... Kaneki's family? And, if Hinami was their daughter then... they were the fathers?

Embarrassment and fondness washed over Tsukiyama. Why was Kaneki saying these things? Was what the Little Lady said true? Did Kaneki really, really like Tsukiyama? He was acting so cruel to him just a few weeks ago- and now here they were both blushing like crazy, Tsukiyama's hand still covering Kaneki's. People around began to stare.

_Comment est-ce que c'est arrivé?_

"A-anyways, Tsukiyama-san... Stirring away from the embarrassing topics.. Um, I always wanted to ask you, what are those things you call me?"

"H-huh?"

"Well, you called me something right now... Something ma... Ma..."

"M-ma belle?"

"Oh yes, that! What does that translate to?"

He stared at Kaneki in disbelief- _how was that any less embarrassing_!?

Turning to the side and swallowing hard, Tsukiyama prepared himself for what was about to come.

"I-It means... "My beauty","- he blurted out

"A-and what about that other thing you always call me? M-mon..?"

"Mon cher?"

"Yeah."

Tsukiyama folded his arms and hid his head behind them. He felt like he was going to die of embarrassment right then and there.

"My darling."

"...Oh."

Kaneki just stared. And then turned a shade redder. This was the most embarrassing conversation Tsukiyama ever had.

And the same applied to Kaneki, judging by the look on his face.

Awkward silence stretched between them, but then Hinami- bless her soul- ran in with what seemed like twenty bags of various sizes.

Tsukiyama immediately shot up and nearly ran to get her coffee. He could hear her asking Kaneki why were the two of them so red, and Kaneki informed her that it was very warm inside and the coffee had been very hot.

_Sure, that's the reason._

The three of them spent the evening drinking their coffee, Hinami showing off her new clothes and Tsukiyama advising her on what best goes with what.

Kaneki's and Tsukiyama's legs occasionally brushed, and that always sent shivers down both their spines. But it wasn't unpleasant.

Hinami even commented on how they seemed like a big happy family, and both Kaneki and Tsukiyama blushed.

Really, there was just a whole lot of blushing that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fluster :D 
> 
> Also, tell me something, guys- should I add smut or do I keep this more or less family friendly?
> 
> (Caution: I'm not sure how well I can write sex scenes)


	8. Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Tsukiyama is too loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is absolutely vital you read it with 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlFqz7NnoX4
> 
> You'll know when to press play/stop. Also, try reading as slowly as possible:3

Kaneki spent the entire day in bed, refusing to get up. He knew he was acting like a child, but all that embarrassment the day before gave him a horrible headache.

_My darling... My beauty..._

Really, Tsukiyama was so horribly embarrassing. But then again, Kaneki wasn't any better.

_Our first date? A family? Ugh, what am I thinking..._

He must have lost his mind completely. Kaneki should be keeping Tsukiyama at a distance, but he was practically inviting him in for dinner- with Kaneki as the main course. But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself of the danger, he just didn't feel it anymore. All his resolve against Tsukiyama vanished the moment the Gourmet apologized. Kaneki trusted him now completely, and he didn't know whether it was the right decision.

Usually, Tsukiyama would've called at least twice by now, if not barge into his apartment with a gigantic bouquet of flowers for Hinami. But today, he wasn't there. Maybe Kaneki embarrassed him too much yesterday, although that never stopped Tsukiyama. Not that they ever talked like that before...

"Ugh, how embarrassing!"- Kaneki rolled over on his bed, placing a pillow on his face.

"Onii-chan, this is the sixth time you've said it today,"- Hinami startled Kaneki, as she appeared in the doorway carrying a cup of coffee.

"Ah, H-Hinami-chan... Was I really that loud?" "Not really, but lately you've been forgetting to close your door."

_Great. Now I'm acting like a teenager in love._

Was he in love with Tsukiyama? He probably had all the symptoms but... No, it couldn't be. No way in hell.

"-chan! Onii-chan! Stop ignoring me!"

"I-I'm sorry, Hinami-chan, I just-"

"Are you thinking about the Flower Man again?"- she asked, setting down the cup on the bedside table.

"Wh-What!? No!"- _how did she..?_

"You always have this look when you're thinking of Tsukiyama-san. Come to think about it, you also have that look when you're drawing portraits of him."

"P-portraits?"- Kaneki was confused, but then he remembered about his sketch collection, -"Hinami, were you going through my things?"

"No, no! I'm sorry, Onii-chan, I just happened to see your notebook in the living room, and you were sleeping, and I couldn't help but take a peek inside-"

"It's alright,"- Kaneki sighed, exasperated, -"You can always just ask me to show it to you."

"Sorry, Onii-chan..."

It's not like it was a secret. He started drawing those portraits long ag, before any of this happened. Drawing was his stress relief, so he resolved to just sketching quick portraits of everyone in the house, and then of everyone he knew. Tsukiyama, with his model-like looks and his flamboyant expressions, was just very easy to draw. His features were also easier to remember. Before Kaneki knew it, he had at least two notebooks filled with nothing but Tsukiyama's portraits, and now he was starting a third one.

"Onii-chan?"- Hinami, seeing that Kaneki has grown very quiet, began to worry, -"Don't worry, Onii-chan, I'm certain Tsukiyama-san will either come here or call you very soon."

Hinami was always very observant. But sometimes, maybe a bit _too_ observant.

"Thanks, Hinami-chan. Good night,"- Kaneki said and Hinami gave him one last smile before leaving, properly closing the door behind her.

He drank the coffee the girl brought. She was so kind and caring... And she seemed to like Tsukiyama quite a lot. Tsukiyama also loved her... So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that Kaneki was in love with him?

He shook his head, setting the coffee back down. What, was he now going to marry Tsukiyama and start a family with him and Hinami? Ridiculous.

And also very, very appealing. At the thought of that Kaneki's heart filled with warmth... Maybe Tsukiyama loved him too... But he had greater things to think about. Like finding Kanou and whoever it was behind Aogiri, finding their plans and putting a stop to them. He had loved ones to protect and truths to uncover. For the past month, though, he hadn't been doing any of that. He told himself that he had the right to relax, at least for a bit. And he also had the right to fall in love and dream of a family.

Even if it was with Tsukiyama, of all people.

• • • • •

It was pretty late, but Kaneki just couldn't fall asleep. Tsukiyama didn't call or visit, and for whatever reason that was getting Kaneki anxious.

Maybe he didn't really like Kaneki.

Maybe he still wanted to eat him.

Maybe Kaneki just scared him off.

There were so many possibilities where Kaneki could've went wrong. Should he have pulled away his hand from Tsukiyama? Maybe Tsukiyama liked the cruel side of him better than the flustered idiot he became around the Gourmet. Damn it...

Tsukiyama was the last person Kaneki should be getting worked up over, but there he was, laying in his bed-

With a loud noise, Kaneki's window suddenly shattered into pieces. The One-eyed ghoul jumped up at the sound, too startled to even yelp. He searched for whatever broke his window into a million pieces, and found quite a heavy looking rock lying under his table.

_What the fuck-?_

Kaneki looked out the window, expecting to find bratty kids, or maybe drunk teenagers. Who he definitely wasn't expecting to find was Tsukiyama.

"Bonjour, Kaneki-kun!"- Tsukiyama shouted at him, with a gigantic grin plastered upon his face.

"Tsukiyama!?"- Kaneki shouted back, but then, remembering the time, toned his voice down, -"What the actual- what are you doing there? You destroyed my window!"

"Isn't that what they do in the western movies? Throw rocks at windows?"

"You idiot, you're supposed to gently through a few tiny ones! Not a gigantic rock like that!"

"Oh, my apologies, mon cher!"

Kaneki wanted to tell Tsukiyama that he expected him to pay for the new window, but then he remembered- he remembered what "mon cher" meant, and he was surprised to hear Tsukiyama still calling him that. Even after saying what it actually meant. That made him blush.

"Wh-what are you doing here anyway?"- he asked, massaging the point between his brows- honestly, he was so tired.

"Today, I decided to surprise you!"

And just when he thought nothing could be more surprising than to have Tsukiyama shatter his window at one in the morning, the Goumet pulled out a tiny speaker and pressed play. Music started streaming from it- and then Tsukiyama started to sing. Kaneki's heart stopped beating.

Tsukiyama's voice was always pleasant and calming... But his singing was something else. Absolutely mesmerized, Kaneki leaned out of the window to hear him better. And the words of the song...

Kaneki blushed. He blushed harder than ever, harder than at the coffee shop- because he was not only embarrassed and flustered, he was also terribly happy. Tsukiyama loved him. He knew it. He knew it and he was so happy. He felt tears forming in his eyes and tried to get himself together.

"Tsukiyama-san..."- he whispered, smiling like an idiot, -"I love you too..."

Tsukiyama kept signing, up until the neighboring window opened and a scruffy, sleepy man looked out.

"People are tryin' to sleep here, you goddamn kids! Shut the hell up!"- he yelled interrupting the song and slammed the window back down.

Kaneki and Tsukiyama glanced at each, and started laughing.

_God, we really are such kids._

"Did you like it, Kaneki-kun?"- Tsukiyama asked, switching off the speaker.

"You're such an idiot, Tsukiyama-san,"- Kaneki answered, still flustered.

"I will take that as a yes, then. Would you like to hear a song in French?"

"Tsukiyama-san, I really don't think-" -But it was too late, as Tsukiyama already turned on another song and proceeded to sing in his _flawless_ French accent.

That somehow turned Kaneki on and he got even more embarrassed. He had to stop Tsukiyama before he either woke up the entire neighborhood, or made Kaneki hard. The Gourmet didn't seem to hear Kaneki's whispered screams of "Please, shut up!", so Kaneki resolved to grabbing the nearest object near him, and throwing it at Tsukiyama. Thankfully, he managed to hit him right in the head and the man seized singing.

"Please, Tsukiyama-san, stop it!"

"Mon petit? Did you not like this one?"

"No, no, not that! It's just, you'll wake the grumpy guy again!"

"Ah, well then, I will just sing quieter."

"No, Tsukiyama-san please don't sing anymore!"- at this, Tsukiyama looked heartbroken. It must have taken lots of courage to walk up to Kaneki's windows and start singing those love songs, so Kaneki just had to add, -"Otherwise, I will get really, really hard."

Ugh, how embarrassing. But, after realizing that he didn't mishear it and that Kaneki really did say what he said, Tsukiyama practically beamed with happiness.

"Should I come up there and... Help you resolve that problem?"

"N-no! Um, I mean, Hinami is asleep and uh, maybe some other time, alright?"

"Ah, bien sur. I guess I will see you tomorrow, then, Kaneki-kun,"- Tsukiyama smiled at him fondly.

"Good night, Tsukiyama-san and... Thank you, you were fantastic."

"Bonne nuit, mon amour. Sweet dreams."

• • • • •

Kaneki lied in his bed, restless. He couldn't fall asleep before, but now it seemed impossible. Tsukiyama left an hour ago and Kaneki still kept thinking.

Why did he tell Tsukiyama he was going to get hard? And, more importantly, why did he promise that he would let Tsukiyama "help him resolve that problem" some other time? What the hell did he imply? He groaned, placing a pillow on his face.

Why, oh, why.

After 10 more minutes of trying to get over the whole ordeal, he got up and started his computer. The damn rock that destroyed his window- and let all the cold air from the outside in, damn Tsukiyama, that idiot- now rested on his table. Kaneki decided that he would keep it.

He opened a browser page, and sat there wondering what was it that he wanted to look up. It definitely wasn't the songs- he couldn't remember all the words, but the meaning was clear enough. Instead, he opened an online translator and typed in "mon amour", which was the last thing Tsukiyama called him before leaving.

It took him a few tries to get the spelling, but after he saw what it translated to, his heartbeat seemed to have quickened. He went over to his bed again, laying down. Now, he was absolutely certain.

Kaneki was in love with Tsukiyama Shuu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Cheesy" should be my middle name lol 
> 
> This song is one of my favorite Shuneki songs, so why not make Tsukiyama sing it? 
> 
> I guess you can read it without listening, but it really brings out the emotion. Or at least for me, since I was writing the chapter while listening to the song.
> 
> Anywho, hope you liked it.


	9. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Kaneki can't say no

Tsukiyama was sure that it was impossible for him to love Kaneki more than he already did.

The black leather bound notebook he held in his hands proved him wrong. Tsukiyama turned the pages slowly, one by one, absorbing the contents as if trying to permanently burn them into his brain.

And maybe he was trying to do just that, as every single page was filled with Kaneki's beautiful drawings. And not just any drawings- they were all, each and every one of them, of Tsukiyama. Head on, profile, 3/4 view... standing, sitting, gesturing... The notebook was filled with Tsukiyama from core to core, little scribbles of him filling in every corner.

He didn't know what to think or feel. He only knew that with every turn of the page, the place Kaneki occupied in his heart grew larger, and the feeling grew fonder. Very luckily, this was just the object Kaneki chose to throw in Tsukiyama's face when the man wouldn't stop singing. Very luckily, it wasn't the gigantic rock Tsukiyama threw in his window (he really didn't expect Kaneki to think twice before throwing a rock at him). But out of all the possibilities, it was this notebook. The one bearing a tiny, scribbled "2" on the inside of the cover.

Did that mean there were more notebooks? Were they all filled with Tsukiyama as well?

He fell down on his bed, spreading his arms. Where was this train wreck of a relationship going? They weren't even in a relationship... Were they? Not like they kissed or proclaimed each other boyfriends or even so much as confessed their love for each other... Being Kaneki's boyfriend sounded so... _Dolce_. Tsukiyama hugged the leather notebook tight and sighed. He didn't even know if Kaneki actually liked him- it just seemed like he did but he was so changeable. And even if he did, there's no guarantee that he would want to go out with Tsukiyama.

Actually, that seemed way too fantastic to be a possibility. And even if he did want to go that far, who knows how this all would end? A happy ending was definitely out of the question with their current situation... Tsukiyama was making himself unnecessarily sad.

He stared up at the ceiling for a couple minutes more, finally deciding that he would start- or, well, continue- this one step at a time. First, he had to be sure Kaneki liked him back. And there was only one way to find out.

"Ka-ne-ki-kun!"- he sang, perhaps a little too giddily, into the phone when the One-eyed ghoul picked up.

"Uh, good morning, Tsukiyama-san,"- Kaneki sounded tired, -"Why'd you call so early?"

"Why, I just wanted to see how was mon cher doing! Have you slept well?"

"Y-yeah, thanks for asking. Is this all?"

Tsukiyama grew quiet at that. No, this wasn't all. But he suddenly became very nervous- he wasn't sure what he would do if he were to face rejection.

"Tsukiyama-sa-?"

" _Wouldyouliketohaveadinnerdatewithme_?"- he blurted out so fast, he wasn't sure whether Kaneki even made out the words.

Silence stretched on, and seconds felt like hours. Tsukiyama's hands grew cold and shaky, and heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. He felt dizzy and didn't know what to do with himself as he waited for Kaneki's reply.

"A... Dinner... D-date?"- the voice on the other end finally answered, sounding shaky and uncertain.

"Yes, Kaneki-kun, I know, it may seem horrible, I mean, like a horrible idea, and it most definitely is- well, not most definitely, I promise I won't try anything- I would never even think, not after I realized that I-"

Just then he realized he was speaking to himself. Loud beeps echoes on the other end of the line. Kaneki put the phone down. Tsukiyama didn't even get to receive a "no".

Kaneki simply put the phone down, not saying a word.

A familiar feeling of pain and loneliness electrocuted Tsukiyama, sending waves of guilt and sickness throughout his body. In the bad case scenario, Kaneki would tell him no. In the worst case scenario he could possibly imagine, Kaneki would tell him to fuck off.

In reality, Kaneki didn't speak a single word. And that hurt so much worser than anything had hurt before. He fell on the bed again, curling up into a ball.

The phone began to ring again and Tsukiyama did not have the strength or the wish to pick it up. But it rang so persistently that in the end he had no choice.

"What?"

"Ts-Tsukiyama-san!"- a familiar voice on the other end jolted him right back up.

"Kaneki-kun!?"

"Ah, y-yes, I'm sorry! My mobile died and I-"

Tsukiyama must have died at that moment. Relief washed all over him and he dropped to the floor, out of breath. Kaneki didn't cut the call- it was simply the mobile. The mobile! He was such an idiot.

"-and despite better judgement, I think it would be nice."

"Huh? Wh-what was that again?"

"I think it would be nice?"

"Ah... R-right!"- he had no clue what the boy was talking about.

"...Tsukiyama-san. I'm not going to talk if you're not going to listen,"- Kaneki was starting to get pissed, and Tsukiyama needed to fix this. Quick.

"Désolé, mon amour... I got caught up in the moment. Would you repeat what you said once again, s'il vous plait?"

"...Alright,"- Kaneki sighed, -"I-I just said that I would love to come for the... d-date, even though I swore I would never have dinner with you ever again. And that despite better judgement, I think it would actually be pretty nice."

Now Tsukiyama was certain- he died when Kaneki rejected him and went to heaven. Because this is what this felt like. Then again, heaven would probably be the last place he'd go to after death, so maybe this was real. Like, really real.

"Merveilleux! Fantastique! Then, I will see you at 7 in my apartment, oui?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Whatever,"- Kaneki said, and with that he hung up.

Tsukiyama spent a few more moments wondering whether he was dead or alive, but then jumped up from the floor and sprinted into his kitchen. He couldn't remember the last time he was so eager to have dinner- and today he dined not on Kaneki, but with him.

And that was so much better.

• • • • •

At 18:53, Tsukiyama heard his doorbell ring- Kaneki was as punctual as ever. He rushed to the door to let his guest in, nearly dropping the candles he had been preparing.

Once the door was opened, Tsukiyama's eyes met a sight he would never forget for as long as he lived. Kaneki was looking somewhere off to the right and he wore a blush, which seemed pretty much permanent when he was around Tsukiyama. In his hands, he held a small bouquet of flowers. But the most amazing part of his attire was the sweater. The one in blue and green. The one Tsukiyama bought him.

The Gourmet had no clue how to react to this. He just kept standing in the doorway while smiling like an idiot.

"Will you invite me in anytime today?"- Kaneki asked still not looking at Tsukiyama.

"Ah, my apologies, mon amour! Please do come in!"

Kaneki walked past Tsukiyama, slightly shoving him with his shoulder. Seeming to remember something, he turned around. And then shoved the bouquet into Tsukiyama's hands.

"Here,"- he said, turning around and beginning to inspect his surroundings.

Tsukiyama simply whispered "merci", still in shock and barely believing that this was happening. He looked at the flowers more closely and noted that they were red carnations- his favorite.

"Your porter seemed real nice. And he seemed to know who I was before I even said anything,"- Kaneki suddenly said, interrupting Tsukiyama's thoughts.

"Ah, si, I did warn him about your visit,"- Tsukiyama grabbed the empty vase that always stood on his coffee table and went into the kitchen to poor water into it, -"Do you like my humble apartment, Kaneki-kun?"

"Humble? You're joking, right? This place is worth millions, if not more."

"Hmm, perhaps. It is a bit too big for a single person,"- Tsukiyama put the vase back on the table, now with the beautiful flowers inside.

"Yeah."

"But my parents insisted on a large apartment. I guess they thought I'd find someone to share it with..."

"Aha."- Kaneki seemed absent minded, walking around the area, closely examining every little piece of decoration Tsukiyama had.

Tension was rising between them and Tsukiyama had to do something about it.

"Um, this is Andy Warhol's painting, Kaneki-kun,"- he said as the boy kept staring at the canvas, -"It is genuine, might I add."

"I see."

"You like it?"

"Sure, yeah."

"Wouldn't you say the decor in my apartment is très excellent, oui?"

"Oui,"- Kaneki stopped in his tracks, and then began frantically waving his hands around, -"I-I-I mean yes! Yes! It is!"

Surely, soon enough the room was filled with Tsukiyama's loud, warm laughter.

"Y-you're having a terrible impact on me!"- Kaneki tried to defend himself as the older man clutched to his stomach, still laughing, -"Sh-shut up, idiot!"

"I'm sorry, Kaneki-kun,"- Tsukiyama said, finally calming down, -"You are way too dolce."

"Don't call me that. Idiot."

Tsukiyama smiled and gently grabbed Kaneki's arm.

"Dinner's waiting this way, mon cher."

• • • • •

"To be honest, I'm a bit surprised that there actually is real dinner here. Y'know, besides me,"- Kaneki said sitting down at the table.

"You wound me! I would never do anything to hurt you, my darling."

Tsukiyama lit up the candles and turned off the lights. The atmosphere suddenly became twice as intimate. His heart started racing in his chest as he sat down across from Kaneki, who suddenly grew quiet.

"Is something wrong, Kaneki-kun?"- d _oes he not like the candles? Is it too much?_

"...You called me "darling"."

Tsukiyama froze. Was he bringing that up again?

"Oui, but don't I always?"

"You didn't say it in French this time."

"Oh. I haven't even noticed. But... Does it really matter?"

"I guess not. It's just weird to hear."

Kaneki grabbed the fork, still looking a bit bewildered at the use of kitchenware to eat his meals. Tsukiyama eagerly awaited criticism from his guest.

"Tsukiyama-san... This is even better than what we are last time. I mean, it's really, very good!"

"It warms my heart to hear you say that, Kaneki-kun."

"It's weird but... I don't feel too bad eating this. Usually I would be very reluctant to eat but now..." "It's easier for you, oui?"

"Ou- Yes,"- he coughed a bit to mask his slip up. Tsukiyama found him adorable, -"I guess... I might even have a bit of that special wine ghouls drink..."

Tsukiyama beamed with happiness. It seemed Kaneki really was enjoying himself here, in his apartment. At that moment, he knew we wanted to see the sight of a happy, content Kaneki every day.

_If only this could last forever..._

"I'm very happy you accepted my invitation, Kaneki-kun."

"You really thought I wouldn't, huh?"

"It was the most probable answer, but I had to try my luck."

"Heh... What did you think when my mobile died? Were you freaked out?"

"Freaked out is an understatement, mon amour. I thought you were being cruel again- I thought you hated me."

"Cruel, huh... You don't like it when I'm cruel, right? Bet you felt sad."

"I felt like I was going to die."

Kaneki laughed at this and blushed. Actually, the red in his cheeks only deepened as he never really stopped blushing from the moment he stepped inside. Tsukiyama didn't know what was so funny, but he was glad to hear Kaneki's laugh.

"Oh man, you really are terrible."

"Kaneki-kun, why did you come?"

"Well, in all honesty, I have no idea. I thought about refusing at first, but then the mobile died and I got so fidgety for some reason. And when I called back I just couldn't say no."

"Oh? And what part of my invitation put you off- the "dinner" or the "date"?"

Kaneki laughed again.

This time, Tsukiyama laughed with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon 1: Tsukiyama loves abstract art - and his _amazingly_ decorated apartment   
>  Headcanon 2: Kaneki starts saying random french words at times, since he's around Tsukiyama so much


	10. Portrait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which things happen.

Kaneki really was enjoying himself. Dammit, he was having fun.

He really, really was planning to say no, it was at the tip of his tongue, when the phone died. And he started to panic- what if Tsukiyama thought he hung up? That would be terribly rude. And knowing the Gourmet, he would probably not call Kaneki for another week or go to his manor again for another "check up". Kaneki didn't want to go all the way back there to get him again- first time was humiliating enough, thankyouverymuch- so he grabbed the apartment phone and called him back.

And then he just couldn't refuse. He told himself that he would only go to make sure that it would be absolutely horrible, so maybe he could fall out of love with Tsukiyama. But it only made him realize how deep in he really was.

The food was fantastic, the wine surprisingly pleasant, and the man sitting across from him, wearing a spotless white shirt and fitting black pants, was so gorgeous. Kaneki felt dumb for wearing a sweater that was too large and a pair of jeans. But Hinami insisted- she said the Flower Man would love it. It was also her idea to buy flowers ("He always bring us flowers, Onii-chan, it's the lest you can do!").

All of it seemed silly when he stood outside the apartment door, reluctant to meet Tsukiyama's eyes. Now, he didn't care. They finished their dinner, talking and laughing, all the tension between them dispersed, though Kaneki still had trouble believing he really wasn't the dinner.

Tsukiyama moved to the living room and Kaneki followed, wondering what else the man had in store for the evening. But before he could ask, his eyes met a leather bound notebook sitting on the coffee table. Strange, he could've sworn he had one just like it at home. Curiosity got the better of him and when Tsukiyama went into another room he took a peak inside.

What he saw horrified him into a stupor.

"Kaneki-kun, I-"- Tsukiyama started as he walked back into the room, but he was interrupted by the notebook hitting his face with great force.

"Where the hell did you get that, you pervert!?"- Kaneki yelled, shaking with rage. He felt so damn angry, embarrassed. But most of all he felt betrayed, -"You sneaked into my room, didn't you? Fucking pervert. Bet you took it because it smelled like me, right? Had fun jacking off to those drawings?"

The violent outburst surprised Tsukiyama. He took a few seconds before finally glancing at the notebook. And then he smiled.

"Mon cher-"

"No, you know what, fuck you. Trusting you was the worst idea ever. You might as well just die!"- Kaneki made his way to the door, but was stopped by a strong grip on his wrist.

He was about to break Tsukiyama's arm once again, but the man securely gripped his shoulders, forcibly turning him around.

"Let go, fucking scum."

"Kaneki-kun. Listen,"- Tsukiyama's expression became serious again and Kaneki felt like breaking down in tears. Or snapping the Gourmet's neck. Probably both.

"You gave this to me yourself."

"Don't you fucking lie, you bastard, never in my life would I voluntarily give you something like-"

"But what if I were to say it wasn't voluntary?"

"...huh?"

"Kaneki-kun, remember back to yesterday. Or rather, today's early morning. 1 AM."

"When you came and-,"- Kaneki's breath hitched- he really was breaking down, -"-and sang those damn songs?"

"Oui. Remember what you did to, um, shut me up?"

"I threw stuff at you."

"What stuff?"

Kaneki thought about it for a moment- and realized he had no clue. He just picked up the closest thing... Tsukiyama placed the notebook in Kaneki's hands, smiling fondly.

Oh.

"I-I threw the notebook?"

"Indeed, sweetheart."

Oh. Oh, fuck. _Fuck._

Kaneki covered his face with his hands. He wanted nothing more than to disappear from existence. How could he be such an absolute idiot? And to think he was about to walk out the door...

Tsukiyama lifted his hands from Kaneki shoulders and took the boy by the wrists, gently spreading them apart and opening up his face. Kaneki was red from embarrassment and annoyance at his own idiocy.

"Mon amour..."

"I am so stupid. And now I've ruined our dinner."

"Not at all, mon cher. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"...sorry."

"You can make it up to me, my darling."- Tsukiyama took hold of Kaneki's hands and guided him back into the living room.

"H-how?"- billion images flashed through the half-ghoul's head, some less appropriate than others.

But what happened next, Kaneki did not expect at all. Tsukiyama indicated for Kaneki to sit on the couch, while he himself sat on the coffee table directly in front of the boy. He handed him a piece of paper and a pencil.

"Since you greatly enjoy drawing moi, how about a portrait? I will most gladly pose for you."

"Wh-what?"- that was it? All the "making up" Kaneki had to do?

Tsukiyama was less of a perv than Kaneki remembered, but he would take it.

"Just so you know, I draw everyone I know, not only you. You just happen to be..."

"Better than everyone else?"

"...easier to draw."

"I will take that as a yes."

Kaneki laughed. He felt even more like an idiot now- he was quick to jump to conclusions and doubt Tsukiyama. And the Gourmet has been so quick to forgive him too...

Taking a deep breath and calming down a bit, Kaneki placed the paper on top of the notebook for support and began to draw. Looking at Tsukiyama now, when they were so close, he could notice all the tiny details. Like how Tsukiyama's eyebrows lifted up a bit now and then, especially when Kaneki looked at him for a moment too long. And how Tsukiyama's eyes seemed to be constantly half closed and looking straight into Kaneki, keeping that gentle feeling about them. And how Tsukiyama's lips curled up just a bit at the end even when he was relaxed and not trying to smile.

In a couple of minutes, Kaneki realized he has been drawing less and staring more. Everything suddenly became Tsukiyama. The man seemed to fill up his entire world and there was no escape. The worst part was- Kaneki didn't mind it.

He traced the pencil up and down the paper, trying to capture the beauty of the man before him, though he knew he would never be able to do it. Tsukiyama was too beautiful. Kaneki's breathing fastened when the Gourmet adjusted his pose, which brought the two close together. The space between them was becoming less and less and Kaneki wished it just didn't exist at all.

He traced over the shape of the man's lips with the pencil, wondering if they were as soft as they looked. Not thinking, he followed the urge, reaching up and touching Tsukiyama's lips. Kaneki traced his thumb over the Gourmet's bottom lip, then followed the jawline. Tsukiyama sharply inhaled when their skin made constant. He closely followed every movement Kaneki made with his fingers. The boy went on to trace Tsukiyama's cheekbones and then his hands wandered further up and got tangled in Tsukiyama's hair. Kaneki was surprised when he found out how silky it actually felt (then again, since it was Tsukiyama, he probably shouldn't have been). His fingers played with the man's hair for a bit before leaving it alone and returning to his drawing. Only then Tsukiyama exhaled.

 _What the hell am I doing_...- Kaneki asked himself, feeling himself turn crimson.

Tsukiyama was pretty red as well, and breathing quite heavily too. Kaneki looked up from the half-finished portrait, not being able to concentrate. He looked straight into Gourmet's eyes and time seemed to stand still.

Kaneki gently touched Tsukiyama's chin, and slowly slid his fingers over to behind his neck, standing up in the process. He was now towering over the man, the latter's hands found their way to his hips. They stood like that for a few moments, hearts beating faster and faster, breathing getting slower and heavier. Kaneki simply stared into those deep blue eyes, getting lost in them.

"Je t'adore, Kaneki-kun,"- Tsukiyama whispered.

Kaneki could feel his breathing on his lips. The boy didn't say a word. He simply closed the last few centimeters separating their faces.

And their lips crashed together, sending jolts of electricity though Kaneki's body.

Tsukiyama did not hesitate to deepen the kiss immediately, opening Kaneki's lips with his tongue. And Kaneki did not hesitate to let him in. Kaneki ended up spreading his legs, placing them on both sides of Tsukiyama, therefore sitting on the man's lap. Tsukiyama's fingers dug into the boy's hips, while Kaneki's kept messing up his hair. Their mouths did not separate once. Kaneki bit Tsukiyama's bottom lip, receiving a moan from the other man. This sent another shiver down his spine, and his hands involuntarily moved lower, now tracing Tsukiyama's neck and back muscles.

Soon, Kaneki had to pull back for air. Only then did he open his eyes and took a proper look on the mess Tsukiyama became. His eyes were dazed, pupils diluted, mouth swollen and parted, actively gasping for air. His hair was sticking out in different places, his hands were still clinging tight to Kaneki's hips, and Kaneki realized that this Tsukiyama was more beautiful than ever. Knowing that Kaneki could get him to such a state made the boy mad with desire. He knew Tsukiyama felt the same way- he could feel it between his legs.

"Kaneki..."

"I love you, Tsukiyama-san."

"A-ah..."

Somehow saying that made Kaneki more embarrassed than anything what happened before. It left him exposed and vulnerable to pain. And Tsukiyama's lack of response was making him nervous.

Another moment passed with Tsukiyama staying quiet, and Kaneki couldn't take it anymore. He jumped up from the man's lap, slightly pushing Tsukiyama, and quickly made his way to the door, frantically making his exit. He walked over to the elevator and pressed all the buttons.

_Oh, fuck, why did I do that. He doesn't really love me back, this is just stupid, I am so stupid-_

The doors opened to reveal an empty elevator and Kaneki jumped in. He immediately pressed the button to close the doors. But right before the they were able to close completely, a hand appeared in the tiny slit between them. Tsukiyama pulled the doors apart, stepping into the elevator.

"Kaneki-kun..."- he started, still out of breath, -"What are you doing?"

"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I just panicked, because I've kissed you and it was so stupid and then told you I loved you and you didn't reply-"

Kaneki was interrupted with Tsukiyama's lips pressing into his own, quite insistently as well.The boy couldn't help but melt into the kiss following Tsukiyama's tongue.

"Kaneki-kun,"- Tsukiyama said when they finally pulled apart, -"I love you, too. Love you more than anyone or anything. I love you so much it hurts. I just love you."

He looked into Kaneki's eyes, softly touching the boy's cheek. His voice sounded gentle and calm, but his face was burning and Kaneki could hear his heartbeat a mile away. Maybe he really was worrying for nothing. Maybe he really was an idiot.

"I love you, Tsukiyama-san. You are... Very, very important to me."

Just then the elevator doors opened on the first floor of the apartment building. Tsukiyama placed a foot in front of the doors to keep them from closing.

"Would you like to go back up and finish what we started?"- he suggested, giving Kaneki's arm a squeeze. He was eager to continue, judging by the tone of his voice- and his pants.

"Um, I'm sorry, Tsukiyama-san, but maybe tomorrow? I promised Hinami I will be early back today."

The Gourmet looked disappointed at this. So Kaneki had to make it up to him, especially after spoiling the evening twice.

"Uh, tomorrow we can go to a park or something! And then I could tell Hinami that I'm spending the night, so Banjou would be with her and-"

"Y-you would spend the night with me, Kaneki-kun?"

"Uh, sure. I guess. Why not?"

Now this definitely cheered the older man up. He was almost jumping. The elevator began to beep, signaling it had been open for too long.

"Um, I guess I will see you tomorrow?"

"Oui! Bonne nuit, my love."

Kaneki, after a second of contemplating, reached up and gave Tsukiyama a quick peck on the lips.

"Good night."- he whispered before hurrying off.

Thankfully, there was no one in the lobby but the snoring porter. Kaneki sighed as he stepped out into the chilly night air. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to snuggle in bed with Tsukiyama...

And it was weird that thoughts like that didn't actually seem weird to him anymore.

Glancing back, he saw that Tsukiyama was standing in the elevator, staring at Kaneki's back. His fingers were touching his lips in surprise. The elevator was still signaling loudly, demanding the doors to be allowed to close.

Kaneki smiled, and started his walk home in anticipation of tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the best summaries ever  
> Also, Kaneki is nominated for the biggest drama queen of the year award.


	11. Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which the night is spent together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? The rating went up? I wonder why...

Tsukiyama couldn't sleep that night. The arousal caused by Kaneki kept him up the first half of it, and the lingering taste of the white haired boy on his tongue prevented him from falling asleep in the second.

He had no idea how could he have kept his eyes from turning for so long- as soon as he closed the apartment door behind him all hell let loose. Tsukiyama thought he would never eat again just to keep Kaneki's taste in his mouth forever. Though, Tsukiyama finally getting to catch a glimpse of Kaneki's taste compared nothing to what the boy told him after their first kiss. And then later in the elevator. And the promise he made...

Tsukiyama had to replay the words over and over to convince himself he wasn't dreaming. The night seemed to have lasted forever, but finally the sun shines through his window blinds- and at the same time, his phone signaled, indicating a text message has been received. As Tsukiyama anticipated, it was from Kaneki (it seems he has trouble sleeping as well), and read the following:

"Good morning, Tsukiyama-san.

I hope this message didn't wake you up, and I apologize if it did. I wanted to ask if we're still good for today? If so, I suggest we meet at the park near your apartment, at about 5 PM? Please tell me if that is alright.

-Kaneki"

 _So dolce, my dearest Kaneki_ ,- Tsukiyama smiled and texted back a quick reply.

He was very tired, but he wouldn't let that ruin his date with Kaneki. And maybe tonight, he would get to taste the boy in a way no one ever has before.

• • • • •

The first snow was silently falling on the streets, covering everything under its cold blanket. Tsukiyama was never really bothered with the weather- it wasn't something to be payed attention to.

But tonight was different- and tonight he loved the snow.

The date was marvelous. When Kaneki arrived, right on time as always, he tried to act as nonchalantly as possible, as though nothing happened. Tsukiyama couldn't possibly let that last.

They talked about how it seemed colder than ever today, and how there were very few people in the park. Then they talked about how both couldn't sleep that night, and they laughed. As they walked, Tsukiyama tried to hold Kaneki's hand, give him small pecks on the cheek now and then, he even went as far as to grope Kaneki's ass.

Each time he did something, he received either a blush or a violent push, and once even a punch (not hard to guess when that happened). Another time, when no one was around, Kaneki smashed Tsukiyama into a tree and made out with him until the latter was seeing stars.

They discussed so many things- Kaneki had so many ideas, so many interesting thoughts on various topics. Tsukiyama truly felt blessed to be in love with him, and to have that feeling reciprocated as well.

They were walking around for hours, and probably could've stayed out all night, but then it suddenly started to snow. Out of nowhere, billions of snowflakes came spiraling from the night skies, and it seemed to have gotten three times colder. The pair had nothing to do, but find shelter in Tsukiyama's apartment. Despite the short walk, they were both drenched and shivering by the time they reached the building. Tsukiyama quickly opened the door and they stepped into the dark room, illuminated only by the city lights coming through the windows.

Getting both of them dry and warm has been Tsukiyama's first priority, so he didn't think twice before hastily removing his thin upper coat, followed by the shirt he was wearing underneath. He walked up to Kaneki, who was still lingering near the doorway, and began to unbutton the coat he was wearing.

The boy audibly swallowed, his breathing became heavier. Only then Tsukiyama realized he was standing very close to Kaneki, completely shirtless.

"Like what you see?"- he couldn't help but tease, putting the coat on the hanger.

"I do,"- Kaneki answered, unflustered. His eyes were traveling up and down the Gourmet's body, taking in the sight.

Tsukiyama was more than surprised by this. He walked over to the half-ghoul and slowly but surely started removing his shirt.

"You must be cold, mon amour..."- he whispered, throwing the clothing on the floor, -"Why don't you let me warm you?"

In an instant, Kaneki was wrapped up in Tsukiyama's arms, their lips moving together in a desperate need. Breaking for a second, Tsukiyama removed the younger boy's eyepatch only to see that his eye has already turned. This meant he didn't have to hold back any longer, and he let his own eyes turn as well.

"I want you-"- Kaneki whispered as his hands ghosted over Tsukiyama's nipples, -"I need you inside me."

Tsukiyama felt his cock twitch at those words, all his blood suddenly rushing to his crotch. His hands wandered to Kaneki's thighs, firmly groping them and lifting the boy off of the floor. Kaneki's arms, in turn, circled around Tsukiyama's neck, and the boy pressed their mouths together once again.

Slowly, the Gourmet tried to coordinate their way to his bedroom. He felt Kaneki's erection pressing into his stomach, and that alone was enough to make him want to take the One-eyed ghoul right on the floor. But, maintaining at least a fraction of rational thought, he decided that their first time should be special. Kaneki deserved to have at least a bed underneath.

Trying to avoid bumping into any furniture, while carrying Kaneki, making out with him and trying to control his erection seemed like a nearly impossible task. Thankfully, Kaneki's mouth moved away from his own, deciding to explore further down. It moved from Tsukiyama's lips to his jaw, and then onto his neck. This made the Gourmet moan and pant twice as much, but also allowed him to swiftly make their way to the bedroom. He carefully placed the younger man onto the bed, separating his mouth from his neck.

Tsukiyama pressed his own mouth on Kaneki's shoulder, giving it a hard suck. Kaneki's body tasted even better than his mouth. That sweet, tender flavor was driving him mad with desire. Tsukiyama's mouth was tracing Kaneki's chest and stomach, practically licking him all over. He gave a small, gentle bite to one of the boy's collar bones and received a sharp inhale in response. He couldn't help but moanThe urge to bite down fully and consume Kaneki while was rising again, and he didn't know how to repress it.

"I want you, Tsukiyama,"- Kaneki groaned, and just like that any thought about eating him was gone.

Instead, Tsukiyama wanted to love him, to make him happy. So he hastily started to unbuckle Kaneki's belt. Just before pulling his pants down, he halted.

"Is it... Is it alright? Can I have you, Kaneki?"- Tsukiyama asked, trying to maintain his calm. Kaneki pressed his mouth to Tsukiyama's ear.

"I'm yours,"- he whispered, softly biting his earlobe, -"Yours and only yours."

Tsukiyama waited no longer. He removed Kaneki's pants, and proceeded to take care of his own. Once they were off, he allowed himself to take a look at the boy before him.

Kaneki lied on his back, his hands over his head, lips swollen and slightly parted, breathing heavily. There was a visible tent in the boxers he was wearing, but Tsukiyama wasn't about to take them off just yet.

He pressed his hand on the erection, and Kaneki gasped. His hands went into Tsukiyama's hair and tugged and pulled with every single press.

"Tsukiyama..."- Kaneki moaned, pressing his mouth to Gourmet's throat and sucking on the spot.

Tsukiyama's hand traced the band of Kaneki's boxers, before slowly creeping inside. He felt the boy's hot erection, and firmly grasped it, receiving a sharp bite to his neck. He gasped at the sudden wave of pain and pleasure.

Tsukiyama gave Kaneki's cock an experimental stroke, and the half-ghoul's body convulsed. Kaneki resolved to wait no longer, and pulled his boxers off completely, exposing his erection with Tsukiyama's hand over it, already covered in precum. He then got rid of Tsukiyama's boxers, throwing them off to the side.

"Get inside me,"- Kaneki gasped, as Tsukiyama slowly stroked his cock, -"P-Please."

The Gourmet couldn't refuse. Reaching to his bedside table, he opened the first drawer and got the lube he had prepared since yesterday. Good thing he was optimistic and had his hopes up. Their erections rubbed together, causing unbearable friction. Tsukiyama thought he might cum there and then.

"Kaneki-kun... This might hurt."

"I know how this works, Tsukiyama. J-just fuck me already."

Hearing Kaneki say those things in such a desperate tone...

Tsukiyama covered his fingers in lube, and slowly massaged Kaneki's entrance. The boy hissed at the contact with the cold substance, so Tsukiyama had to reassure him with a deep kiss. He began to insert one finger inside, never breaking contact with Kaneki's mouth until it was fully in.

"Is-Is this okay? Does it hurt"

The One-eyes ghoul's expression was unreadable. He simply closed his eyes and swallowed heavily.

"Nothing... Nothing I can't handle."- he finally replied, kissing Tsukiyama once again.

The Gourmet began moving around in Kaneki, and fuck was he tight. His cock twitched at the thought of replacing his finger inside Kaneki. But Tsukiyama knew he had to prepare him first- he had done his share of research when he couldn't sleep last night. Adding another finger inside, Tsukiyama's other hand stroked Kaneki's erection. The man underneath him was so beautiful, squirming and moaning his name.

"Ts-Tsukiyama... Gah, Tsukiyama!"- he moaned when their mouths separated from their wet kiss.

Kaneki's hands tugged at his hair, causing a shiver to go down his spine. Tsukiyama couldn't wait any longer, and added a third finger. At this, Kaneki gasped and visibly tensed up. But after a short while, he began adjusting himself, all the while pulling on Tsukiyama's hair with one hand and digging into his back with the other.

"I think I'm... I'm ready,"- he said after a pause.

Tsukiyama still couldn't believe any of this was happening. He was in bed with Kaneki- his Kaneki. It was too surreal, too good to be true.

"Are you certain you want this, my love?"- he asked one last time, in case the boy changed his mind or wanted to stop. Though, if it were so, Tsukiyama didn't know what he would do with himself. He'd probably go insane.

"Tsukiyama- I can't hold back much longer. Just please- please fuck me."

That resolved it- Tsukiyama pulled his fingers out, and smeared some of the lube on his own erection, that begged to be taken care of. He placed it at Kaneki's entrance, adjusting himself accordingly. Kanek's hands were mindlessly stroking his chest and shoulders, coming to stop and play with his already hard nipples.

Tsukiyama swallowed heavily and slowly began to enter.

_Fuck, he's tight. Ah, fuck..._

Kaneki loudly moaned and bit down on his shoulder, causing jolts of pleasure to go through Tsukiyama. He was agonizingly slow, afraid of hurting Kaneki more than needed, but he finally managed to enter him fully, and stopped moving for a couple of seconds to allow both of them to adjust. Kaneki was still groaning against his shoulder, while Tsukiyama tried his hardest not to let orgasm wash over him yet.

"M-move! Move already!"- Kaneki demanded, mouth finally moving away from his shoulder and onto his Adam's apple, giving it a hard suck.

Tsukiyama obliged and slowly pulled back, only to immediately slam right back into Kaneki. Both were on the edge. "

F-Faster... A-Ah, there!"- Kaneki suddenly exclaimed as Tsukiyama hit something inside him.

He adjusted his angle so as to hit that spot as often as possible, and Kaneki saw stars every time it happened. Tsukiyama moved faster and faster, and was nearing his limit with every thrust.

"K-Kaneki... Ah- I t-think I-"

"Cum inside me."

Kaneki violently crashed his mouth into Tsukiyama's, biting and sucking on his lips and tongue. With a few more thrusts, Tsukiyama's body spasmed and orgasmed. Waves of pleasure blackened his vision as he felt himself empty into Kaneki. He tried to keep himself up, tightly holding on to Kaneki's hips.

As soon as his vision cleared up, he slowly pulled out of the boy. And then placed his mouth on Kaneki's cock, twirling his tongue around it and liking it all over. Kaneki's hands once again ended up in his hair, scraping his scalp and tugging at the roots. Tsukiyama gave Kaneki a harsh suck and the half-ghoul came into his mouth, his entire body convulsing in pleasure.

Tsukiyama gladly swallowed all he was given. Kaneki tasted like he imagined heaven would. But it was so much better, because it was Kaneki. And now Kaneki was his, so no heaven could possibly be even close to what Tsukiyama felt right then. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand, getting rid of the saliva that dripped down, and looked at the boy underneath him.

"Je t'adore, Kaneki..."- he said tightly embracing the still dazed Kaneki, who mindlessly started to pet his hair, -"I adore you. I love you so much. You are my everything, love. Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me..?"

"For allowing me this- for loving me back-"

"Don't be an idiot,"- Kaneki reached up and gently kissed Tsukiyama in the corner of his mouth.

Kaneki turned his back towards the older man. In turn, Tsukiyama wrapped an arm around the half-ghoul's chest. He deeply inhaled Kaneki's scent, and couldn't help but but smile at the thought of how perfectly they fitted together.

He was so cheesy... But when it came to Kaneki he didn't care.

Tsukiyama looked outside, at the harsh winter that seemed to have completely taken over the city. The snow was still falling behind the steamed window, and he was happy to be here, in his bed, hugging Kaneki. He felt protected from the outside cold, and he knew Kaneki did too.

"We should probably clean up, my love,"- he whispered, so as not to disturb the perfect harmony that seemed to have settled between them.

"Mm, yeah... Tomorrow..."- the white-haired boy mumbled sleepily as he turned around to face Tsukiyama and nuzzled into his chest.

Tsukiyama reached for the blanket and covered both of them. He never felt so peaceful and at ease in his entire life. Only a single question still lingered on his mind.

"Kaneki-kun..? What are we?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we dating? Am I your boyfriend?"

"Friend... Boyfriend... Husband.. You can be whatever you want to be,"- with this Kaneki seemed to have completely fallen asleep, exhausted but content.

Tsukiyama immediately felt himself drifting off. Before he lost conciseness though, he managed to whisper into Kaneki's ear.

"I love you so much."- he said and Kaneki planted a tiny kiss on his chest.

And they both slept soundly that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm so sorry! I can't write smut at all this was so fast paced~~  
>  I bet Kaneki really loves all those cute nicknames Tsukiyama calls him.


	12. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which it lasts.

It has been way too early to wake up when the sun hit Kaneki's eyes. The boy furrowed his brows. It was so damn cold.

He turned his back to the window and snuggled to the giant heater at his side... Wait...

His eyes snapped open, meeting Tsukiyama's face right in front of his. After a few seconds of initial shock, memories started to flood back to Kaneki and he calmed down. Tsukiyama was not a danger anymore- no, he was the very opposite of that. His friend, his ally. His lover.

Kaneki snuggled in closer, suddenly not wishing to go back to sleep. He wanted to preserve every second shared with the man that was now soundly sleeping, his arms wrapped around Kaneki tightly, even in his unconscious state, chest falling up and down evenly, matched with his breathing.

The half-ghoul kissed Tsukiyama's chest loving the way it seemed to protect him from any harm. He was so tired of always having to be strong for everyone else. For once, he wanted to feel protected and safe- and Tsukiyama was more than glad to provide that.

The Gourmet shifted a bit, probably awoken by the sudden shower of pecks Kaneki gave his chest and neck.

"Mon cher... What are you doing?"- his voice was still hoarse from having just woken up.

"Nothing. I'm not doing anything,"- Kaneki replied, his mouth now traveling to the man's jaw and cheeks.

"Oh? Looks to me as if you were kissing me, non? In fact, you still are."

"Go back to sleep. I liked you better when you weren't speaking."

In an instant, Tsukiyama rolled the boy onto his back and gave him a slow, passionate kiss.

"Would you still have me rather be asleep?"

Kaneki didn't respond. He pushed Tsukiyama back onto his side and wrapped his arms around his neck. His fingers played with the Gourmet's hair (it was still a mess from the night's events), which he found he quite enjoyed.

"Tsukiyama-san... I sometimes... wish this world never existed. It is so wrong. But when I am with you I... I just feel so right. And I realize that if the world never existed, than you would've never existed as well. And I wouldn't want that. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that... You make me want to continue living, because you make my world feel right."

Tsukiyama obviously didn't expect such an emotional speech so early in the morning. Kaneki couldn't help but blush, as his brain obviously wasn't functioning, making him say such embarrassing things. He must be still half asleep.

"Kaneki-kun... You are afraid, aren't you? You try to be so strong, but you really are afraid,"- Tsukiyama replied almost immediately. His expression became grave, but his voice remained calm and assuring, -"I understand, my love. The way you curl up next to me... I understand. And I promise to be always by your side, the dagger under your pillow. Remember? You are my world. I don't know what to do without you."

"I can't help but trust you when you don't have that usual dumb smile on..."

"But you love it, don't you, mon petit?"

"...yeah."

"Would you like me to prepare breakfast? A morning shower, perhaps?"

"That'd be nice... But maybe later. I just wanna stay in bed now. With you."

"Bien sur, mon amour..."- Tsukiyama pulled up the blankets around them and held Kaneki close.

_I can get used to this_...- the boy thought, as he felt himself getting sleepy again.

He knew he had a lot of work to do. He had truths to unravel and loved ones to protect. But, no matter what, he will keep Tsukiyama safe- he will keep _this_ , whatever this is, safe, and he will fight and, should the need come, die for it.

Kaneki wrapped his arms right around Tsukiyama and inhaled his scent.

He will make sure this lasts.

_Forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this is it. The last one.
> 
> I know you wanted there to be more chapters (and the last chapter turned out extra short whoops) but I really didn't wanna stretch out this fic to be too long and tedious.   
> Plus, I'm all out of ideas. 
> 
> But I do have a one-shot coming up where I'll further develop my smut writing skills lol
> 
> If you have any prompts or ideas, you can leave them in the comments or send them to my tumblr!:3 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me through this, your support really means so much to me!! I love you all, guys, you're amazing 
> 
> P.S: did you get it?? The title of the chapter + last word =...


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